misunderstood my but!

right now i am at a stage of giving up or remembering what happened in the end!

“I didn’t follow you to a close school because I knew that you were in love with another girl. And I thought that true love would keep you two together forever. I-I didn’t want to get in the way of that. But the truth is – I always wanted to tell you how I felt.” She wore a broad smile, but her tears were evident in her eyes. “I love you too Andrew. I know you want to make it work with another girl, but I’m tired…I’m tired of going through this pain. I want to make myself happy too. So I’m telling you this,” she said, and then took a small breath, “and then I’m going to move on. I feel like I finally can now. So, this song is for you.

if i did not tell you in that later my dearest friend ! i would said it all in these faithful words at least at your face! instead you are being such an ass to me to the end! i do not think nothing wrong is happening! please follow your own path! like i said before! whoever you like right now i watch to be happy with this person! with me not having from you ! is not right at all! what is wrong with me! okiez jokiez!i am just trying to say is move along and forget what happened in the past and his bad indirect behavior too!

so what i should remember in the end is is hard to say your the best thing that i knew! it sucks to say my life would never be the same! too perfect for many words on you! ok i will stop! *sobs cries *

who said i lost the GAME!

Yeah time again! well it all flies by! what news that i never knew came up! oh shoot! i thought everything will be calm until the end of time! whatever that will change! if your answer is yes !!!! your completely right! oh forget it! i feell like saying what the heck i want right now! two take away one broken up plus happy me!

am i still alive?!

will this ever come to an end! i do not think so! man i worse everyday perhaps! well i think so! i might try depression all over again! no i will not! but i know what is fun thAT will not stop me making up songs of why blonde girls suck and also why a certain blonde should die and that she will not ruin my life dating the that i liked! wah! in the plus side is so hard for me to forget too! i have the tension of writing a poem about emonessiting of why she should die!man i could think of so many reasons of why a blonde girl should however die!sumilar blonde girl names are amy , rebecca and ashley!! !!!! and many more that i do not want to mention! is like once i was watching mon on muchmusic and one text on the screen said "I LOVE YOU ASHLEY!" it made me vry thinking that he maybe text that in! it really hurts to heart something like that even on a big screen tv! even before i thought he would never change ! but now i think he is not himself at all! you know who is the idiot the person who dating the certain blonde and the guy! but for real do i think he is an idiot ! not even a bit! the truth i still like him alot! but for some reason i have to forget him form deepest part of my heart!!!

uh yeah right......

yeah over the last few weeks i have been not me self completely! oh yeah i forget to say is !i have to remember being like this hurts myself as a person! i do not understand this at all! everyone keeps asking me the same question! so my response will not to you anything! i could only tell my best friends that know so much! including him but yeah for some reason when i want to try to tell him something he does want to speak to or too him!i do not know about this situation in my standard! if anyone i know mention about this i suddenly cry with tears! or say something worse like seven year failure or something else~! man i think i am being so pathetic wasting my time on this and just to give up!is just my will of doing anything is no more! is just when he said stop this ! i just was stuck and was so shocked ! those words really hurt me! is like he never known me anymore! i have this feeling in me that just want to rant about me and alot of things right now!

i think of everything! it all something i should never forget! but what he done to be me until now is such a pain to me! shuffling all of that in my face!now it just hurts to write all of this i want to somehow but if i say this out loud i cry with tears!

The Final Move!

oh yeah ffrom what i saud in the last post was totally ruined! oh well !!!! now what should i say! yes the terrivble mext turn of events! but fist i have tto get rid of the evidence first! that is so true! if i keep eveything my motive will maybe change! the next step is getting away the stages! what are the stages! one could be cring for so many days then the second stage is thinking it all over until it all goes away and disappears! damn it is hard! after that is over with for once and for all get my binder that has the evidance ! oh the evidance is the over 60 poems almost, the stories and the mini novel i made that is incomplete! what shall i do with all of it? the only thing is to give to the person who is all about! (note i really can not say who it is) make sure i smile and say something like..........one more thing actually is that i have decided........to be continued will not say what i was going to say!
this the end of my words in this i will never find out the outcome!

A remarkable mistake with more to say!

If anyone i know reads this! yeah i am pure hearted girl! with everything i said is all real to me! i would never say those hurtful words or things about him! it was not my intention at all! my deepest apologies to only him!

he is the nicest, kindest, interesting person i ever met! seriously i would never lie to him about anything! if he knows i am lying i would tell him straight up! whatever people would say about him i do not care at all! why would i say that? one thing i knew well yeah most of my life ! he makes me happy, laugh and lets me talk for whatever i want to say! i enjoy talking to him more than anyone else i ever met! oh yeah he is so caring to me! if i could blush like in an anime i would! let me see if i could take a chance i would strike in an awesome moment!

the impossible reasons are endless why i can never tell one thing! one i was great friends with him for so long! should i really break that! two i could never stop talking about an interesting topic with him to ever say it ! three is.............wait their is no three, i could only think of two reasons right now!

oh i swear when i am around i am myself! never a different person! i cherish every moment when i am with him! yeah that is what i say! i could never sound cheesy! i could never stop talking to him ever! i would never hate him at all! let me see or say anything bad about him too! well i know that would i could tell him is never ! with all i said in my last couple of words!

i worked my hardest i think for the attention! is that the right thing to say! oh well i do not care! so yeah what i did in my free time to pull what may work in time was writing poems all about me and him! i wrote to many to count! then their was the stories! the first one was a confession, the second one was the love letter, and the third one was a true couple and the forth is short novel ! i will never know if any of this of what i written will come true at all!

am i that stupid or perhaps an idiot! i would never know that outcome! okay i am not that kind of girl who is really popular, like popular bands that girls would fangirl over! i would never ever change who i am! i am still the same person from the past ! except that i jump, twirl and spin alto! also i sing j-pop song around the halls! that how i am! yeah changing my hair color ew! changing my image even worse! i am so terrible at sports but i somehow like to play basketball and soccer! what i would say is i am bubbly, adorable , air headed and a happy girl!

Until a certain day comes i will see what i will do! what life will determine for me! a cherry blossoms wish will come over a sunset for me!!~

a destiny that could never be broken!

once a miacle!

Well yeah is me again! Now if everyone remembers in my last entry about the romance.........you should forget! I meant to keep that a secret for years! If that romance to me would come true ..........i would be so surprised! The only time i would ever come close to him is a in my dreams! I could never imagine me really ever confessing to him or perhaps dating for real. If i would describe him in one word it would be perfect!He is smart, , he love sports, he also plays pokemon video games and he is the best friend i ever met. He a person that i could talk to about anything i have to say. He would never insult me or anything that bad!!! One thing i would say that i would never is that in my dreams i kissed him and that everytime he saw me he hugged so much! Now as you can all see is just a dream that will never come true in reality!

If anyone did read this "my friends" they will die! but if is people i do not know than i do not care! Just compare to yourself and imagine how you feel , if this all happened to you! oh well people that i do not know , i respect your opinion to what you may say back to me!



I am such a distance person to him! I never got any connection tosse him or to even talk to him!

yeah is a short version of what will never happen ! =(
next post will be moving away from friends ~ quite distance~

note it all about me past to present!

hi! i am not new at this! i could just say a lot about myself!

but if you want to know the deep side of me........you will never find out. but here i will tell you something everyone. when i am at school with my close friends is like i get tortured (there not that close .......just almost!) is not like they pick on me!!! there are just being them selves i think?! those are only the guys! but with the girls i am positive! when i am not with my friends i get scared and alone by myself! even when i was in elementary SKOOL! i was mostly by myself everyday at school. even thou i had friends it never worked out in the end, after it the last years left i had fun again! wierd to say i was always did not like hanging with friends, it was hard for me talk with people.

underneath this shy person me i somehow find romance with a person that i known for really long. over the years i was in the same school as him it was just as friends, neighbors or classmates as you could say! realizing it until now was the wrong thing.i am not that kind of person to just tell something straight up! still i could never lie to him only! opps! i am getting to carried away talking about my romance!

next i could say i changed in lots of ways but not in my looks nd my appearence! my personality changed form the past if coarse........before i was just shy and had nothing to say and had stage fright in front of people! when i experienced my new life in high school is all times in laughter! i fall down, scream and shout, sing around the halls, glomp the emo girl and most of all be super hyper and cute!each aspect of me develops as a person! i hate to say but i have become the same person but still change over time!

now my total big interests that can develop over time! right now in life i could actually draw! well only fanart, but at least is a start!!!! in the past my drawing were so low ranked. the only thing i loved to draw was a scenary of a hill, grass , and trees plus the sun! the aspects of singing really overlooked me ! in the past i liked normal songs , like common artists ! but still can never stand it that much even now! for the time of life turned current i listen to j-pop songs! even thou i could not understand those songs, at least i am better at singing them to the best i can ! what can still be the same to me is playing video games alot but more time on a ds!

well that is all i coud say!
peace out a town!
as a filipina , i am asian pride!